TOO MUCH AKON

Is it me or is Akon singing the hook on practically every track out there these days, a la Pharrel a few years back. He even showed up on this new Shania Twain track. Weird. Dude's a machine. He's got time to be on practically everyone's track, sexually assault an underage chick on stage at one of his concerts and keep his three wives happy. Talk about prolific! Hey, I didn't mind the Eminem track but could you please now go away. Please, you and that beatboxing asswipe on Idol should really go far, far away. Preferably in the same plane.

The only reason I'm speaking about Idol is I happened to catch like five minutes for the first time this season recently and that was enough. The white-boy wannabe mixmaster is probably some of the worst shit I've ever heard in my life. I'm really quite confused as to why he's in the top two. Kind of just reinforces the retardedness of Americans. And him getting judged positively doesn't surprise me either, when you look at Paula Abdul. The way she acts, she's gotta be seriously on drugs or drunk during taping. I would get more out of Idol if they just had a camera focused on Paula the whole show. Now that would be entertaining. We might even catch her snorting a speedball or something.

SENS FOR REAL

So it looks like the Ottawa Senators might just be for real. They're making the Sabres look ordinary and Ray Emery has been stellar when he needs to be. Of course, this doesn't mean this makes me care any more about hockey at the moment but there may be a small part of me that wants a Canadian team to win the cup for once. And having them beat either Detroit or Anaheim (pick your poison) in the Finals would be the icing on the cake.

Another team that seems to be maybe coming of age is the Phoenix Suns. After tying up the series tonight in a hard-fought game in San Antonio they are poised to get that monkey off their back by beating the Spurs. The catalyst, as usual, has been Canadian Steve Nash who has virtually willed his team to a handful of victories this postseason. The Spurs did a good job of shutting him down in the first half but it's hard to keep a good man down and he came through with his usual workmanlike numbers (24 pts, 15 ast). The guy is a machine and if he doesn't get his third stright MVP this year there is something wrong. Without him in the lineup the Suns might not have even made it to the playoffs, in my opinion. Sadly, even if he does win again, he still won't get the respect he deserves. People say he doesn't measure up to the other greats who have won multiple MVPs but I beg to difffer. MVPs are judged by their value to their team and for the last few years he has, hands down, meant the most to his team. I'm pulling for him and the Suns to win the championship this year and he'll finally get the props he deserves.

Oh yeah, that Coachella report you've all been waiting for? It's coming soon (we'll see what I can remember). If it came down to deadlines, I would be a terrible journalist. Jeesh!

GAY

My computer's acting really gay the last while and I'm ready to throw it out the window. Modern technology is currently a pain in my arse.

So, what's with those cars with where the steering wheel is on the right side? Where are we, Europe? I saw some dipshit dicking around in his frickin' miata driving on the wrong side. What is the real point of that here unless you have a real cool car. Unfortunately, the miata will never be cool, especially when it's being driven by a dude. I question your sexual preference if you're canoodling around in one of those. Get a life, asseater! Go toss some salad.

I just had to get some stuff off my chest.

Coachella wrap to come the next couple days...

AHHHHHH! VACATION....

Before I get into anything heavy, has anybody seen that show "scarred", on MTV? I saw it last night and basically had a gaping mouth-open-wide look on my face for the whole 1/2 hour. They show guys getting injured skating, blading, biking , whatever. It's quite gruesome and definitely not for the faint of heart. The height of it was when a guy tore his sack open sliding off a railo skateboarding. I really don't know if I can watch again.

So anyway, before I leave on a well deserved vacation I will update this beeeach. Since I last spoke I saw Andrew WK at the Starlite room. It might be a little late to do a review but a guy named Mcduffe insisted. It started innocently enough, with Andrew playing a couple of songs from his first album. He was wailing away on the keyboard, shaking his hair, nothing too surprising. Then, inexplicably, he asked the crowd to come up on stage and "party" with him and his dj (it would have been nice if he had an actual band). So, slowly but surely, half the crowd jumped on stage and they continued with their set. From then on it got weird. You couldn't even see WK anymore and the sound kept dying because people were jumping off speakers, hanging from the rafters. It was almost surreal. Granted, if I would have been a little more in the mood, I would have been on stage partying with the rest of the hooligans. So, we left that show shaking our heads, wondering what we just witnessed.

Another thing on my radar has been this whole facebook phenomena. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you might as well crawl out from under that rock and become my friend. I've literally become a friend whore. My only reason for logging in is to try and get new friends and little else. I'm "friends" with people I haven't spoken to in like ten years! I've already become bored with it. The women can't seem to get enough of it, though. I don't even wanna talk about it anymore.

In other news... has anybody seen this year's Lollapalooza lineup? It's like Coachella on crack. check it out @ www.lollapalooza.com.

And another live act I saw this week was Interpol at the Edmonton Events Centre. First of all, they've spruced up the old Red's and it does not look half bad. If you get past the stale canned beer, I was quite impressed. The show itself was quite good. The sound was fantastic and the band was spot on. It wasn't exactly the most exciting stage show I've ever seen but most fans would have been impressed. I doubt they inherited any new fans, though. And Carlos D's creepy pedophile mustache didn't help matters, either.

And in NHL news...oh well, who really cares. Do you? That's what I thought.

So long folks, I'll be thinking of you while I bask in the beautiful Cali sunshine.

VAN IN OT!

In the sixth longest overtime game in NHL history, the Vancouver Canucks won mercifully on a goal by one of those Sedin twins. Not sure why I stayed up so late to kind of watch it to its finish, but I always think I may be missing history if I don't. What if it happened to end the longest game in history? Then I would be sorry I missed it. To be honest I really don't care who wins and it wasn't that great of game from what I saw. Oh well, I'm going to bed. :<)

HA HA TORONTO, YOU SUCK!





Did anybody else have as much fun as I did watching the Islanders win and knock the Leafs out of the playoffs? I'm really glad the Devils tied it up in the last second, too. It actually gave the hated Leafs a glimmer of hope and then it was promptly snatched from their grasp as the Isles won in a shootout. Those few minutes were probably the most exciting I myself will have watching hockey this spring. And wouldn't it have been great if Ryan Smyth had won it on his shootout chance? But like the Oilers version of Smitty would have , he shot it wide feebly. Still I would rather be the Oilers at the moment than the Leafs who came oh so close just to end up on the outside looking in. Ooooh, that stings! And I betcha CBC had a whole expensive promo ready to hail the Leafs triumphant return to the playoffs. More taxpayer dollars down the drain.
God luck Isles, you're gonna need it. A thousand Smytties won't help you against cup frontrunners Buffalo.

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Saw "Grindhouse" on the weekend. It was an awesome moviegoing experience. Probably the best $6 I ever spent. It was a little long at close to 3 1/2 hours but well worth it. Check out the coming attractions (especially "Machete") for some great laughs. Apparently it finished fourth at the box office this weekend bested by, among others, the awful looking "Are we there yet?" and narrowly beating the equally awful looking " The Reaping". If this movie wasn't so long I guarantee it would have been #1. The previews don't do much for me either, I didn't fully know what to expect. And speaking of " Are we there...", Ice cube has lost any and all street cred he had left. That flick looks like a huge steaming pile of shit. You wouldn't see Snoop Dogg or Dr. Dre putting their name on crud like this. I saw an interview with Cube where they asked him how he has all his hands in everything with the movie (producing, acting etc.). To be honest, I could have probably came up with something better in my sleep than Cube's been shitting out since he started acting (minus Boyz in Da Hood).



And in city news...I saw a sign at the edge of the city which said "The City of Edmonton, Keeping it clean", or something to that effect. The ironic thing is there was a huge pile of trash right next to it! Also, only a few short miles away is our new expanded landfill which you can get a great view of while driving into our fair city. What a great way to promote the capital region! I can see the ads now, "If you look closely through the steaming piles of trash which are obstructing your view, check out our beautiful skyline!" or "Trash Tours: only $6.99 for a limited time". Absolutely pitiful.

And lastly, more news about garbage: Ed Belfour was arrested at a bar again. And I thought he was off the sauce. It's tough to give up the bottle, eh ED? Believe me, I feel your pain.

THESE GATORS GOT BITE!

In probably the least exciting version of March Madness I've seen, the Florida Gators ended it mercifully by repeating as champions. In the age of hot prospects leaving school early for the riches of the NBA, repeating is indeed a rare feat. The gators team which remained largely intact from last year seemed to have no trouble bulldozing their way through the competition this year. Juakim Noah probably lost the most by staying put as he likely would have been the top pick last year while this year his numbers slipped and he hs been pushed out of the limelight by super-freshmen Greg Oden adn Kevin Durant. Speaking of Oden, he played like a man possessed tonight but tired near the end as he was wore down by the revolving door of bodies guarding him. I have a hard time believing this guy is 18 years old! He is a true manchild. Well, anywayz, this year will basically go down as the year with no surprises in the tournament which led to a lot of good solid basketball, but nothing too exciting. That's what's usually so exciting about March Madness - the cinderella stories and upsets. The only interesting storyline was the continuing emergence of traditional football powers taking over college basketball. Florida is the only team to ever win the the national championship in both football and basketball.

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In Hockey news...The mad genius that is Lou Lamoriello continues to amaze with his antics. For the second time in 8 years he has fired his head coach while being in first place in the division and also second in the conference. I guess it worked back in 1999 when he fired Robbie Ftorek and Larry Robinson took over to lead the Devils to the Stanley Cup. I'm guessing that's why he thinks it will work again. It's the second time in a year Julien's been blindsided as he was let go by the Canadians with no warning late last year. The only thing I can pinpoint as a reason for this move is the lack of goal scoring - the Devils sit near the bottom of the league in that category. I guess the only reason they're where they are is the stellar play of sure-fire hall of famer Martin Brodeur. Really, I just think Lou likes being in the news. Either way it'll be interesting to see how it plays out.