TOO MUCH AKON

Is it me or is Akon singing the hook on practically every track out there these days, a la Pharrel a few years back. He even showed up on this new Shania Twain track. Weird. Dude's a machine. He's got time to be on practically everyone's track, sexually assault an underage chick on stage at one of his concerts and keep his three wives happy. Talk about prolific! Hey, I didn't mind the Eminem track but could you please now go away. Please, you and that beatboxing asswipe on Idol should really go far, far away. Preferably in the same plane.

The only reason I'm speaking about Idol is I happened to catch like five minutes for the first time this season recently and that was enough. The white-boy wannabe mixmaster is probably some of the worst shit I've ever heard in my life. I'm really quite confused as to why he's in the top two. Kind of just reinforces the retardedness of Americans. And him getting judged positively doesn't surprise me either, when you look at Paula Abdul. The way she acts, she's gotta be seriously on drugs or drunk during taping. I would get more out of Idol if they just had a camera focused on Paula the whole show. Now that would be entertaining. We might even catch her snorting a speedball or something.

SENS FOR REAL

So it looks like the Ottawa Senators might just be for real. They're making the Sabres look ordinary and Ray Emery has been stellar when he needs to be. Of course, this doesn't mean this makes me care any more about hockey at the moment but there may be a small part of me that wants a Canadian team to win the cup for once. And having them beat either Detroit or Anaheim (pick your poison) in the Finals would be the icing on the cake.

Another team that seems to be maybe coming of age is the Phoenix Suns. After tying up the series tonight in a hard-fought game in San Antonio they are poised to get that monkey off their back by beating the Spurs. The catalyst, as usual, has been Canadian Steve Nash who has virtually willed his team to a handful of victories this postseason. The Spurs did a good job of shutting him down in the first half but it's hard to keep a good man down and he came through with his usual workmanlike numbers (24 pts, 15 ast). The guy is a machine and if he doesn't get his third stright MVP this year there is something wrong. Without him in the lineup the Suns might not have even made it to the playoffs, in my opinion. Sadly, even if he does win again, he still won't get the respect he deserves. People say he doesn't measure up to the other greats who have won multiple MVPs but I beg to difffer. MVPs are judged by their value to their team and for the last few years he has, hands down, meant the most to his team. I'm pulling for him and the Suns to win the championship this year and he'll finally get the props he deserves.

Oh yeah, that Coachella report you've all been waiting for? It's coming soon (we'll see what I can remember). If it came down to deadlines, I would be a terrible journalist. Jeesh!

GAY

My computer's acting really gay the last while and I'm ready to throw it out the window. Modern technology is currently a pain in my arse.

So, what's with those cars with where the steering wheel is on the right side? Where are we, Europe? I saw some dipshit dicking around in his frickin' miata driving on the wrong side. What is the real point of that here unless you have a real cool car. Unfortunately, the miata will never be cool, especially when it's being driven by a dude. I question your sexual preference if you're canoodling around in one of those. Get a life, asseater! Go toss some salad.

I just had to get some stuff off my chest.

Coachella wrap to come the next couple days...