Amber Alert

There is an APB out for the men seen above. We'll start w/ the man (or savage) above.

He is known to steal pictures from unsuspecting bloggers and pass them off as his own. He also stole those glasses pictured from the acclaimed director Scotti because obviously they were much cooler than his. He should be easy to spot as he has a noticeable limp from an achilles injury and his weakness for Rye inevitably gets him in trouble. If he is seen, approach him with caution because when he is under the influence of said rye he becomes godzilla-like, roaring and thrashing, knocking over anybody and anything in his path. Luckily, this stage only lasts for mere minutes at which point, like clockwork, he will pathetically collapse face first into the earth. This buys the the proper authorities at least a half hour to subdue and restrain him before he's good as new and continues his rampage. Be on the lookout, people.

Moving on to the scary bearded individual, he is no less dangerous. He is known to frequent seedy bars where crusty punks play. Thanks to a public tip, were told he will be at one of these establishments on saturday night. He'll be the poseur on stage trying to prove he belongs in a punk band. There'll be no need to try to take him down because as the night goes on, and many Jagger-bombs later, he'll inevitably collapse in a puddle of his own bile. It's guaranteed to be disturbing. Once again, keep your guard up folks.